one-of-a-kind | part-of-a-kind

1.

From: Chump 
To: The Dazzle Dream 

4 May 2012


Saw you quote about kindness on facebook tonight.
So I'm thinking about kindness in relation to positive and negative difference.
This is whilst listening to one of my favourite songs and video clips - Imogen Heap singing her Hide and Seek.

So the thing about kindness, if that there's this ethical aspect (being kind to one another).
And there's also an ontological/categorical aspect (things are one kind, or another kind, of thing).
And these meanings of kind-ness are related. It’s not just a linguistic accident nor etymological allusion.

Position difference means everything is treated as one of a kind.
A certain uniqueness. Each uniqueness unique in how it's unique.
Or what Timmy Boy calls the strange strangeness of everything. Strangely strange. 

We can contrast, but not compare.
This is what it means to be original, it's what genius means (to be one's own genesis, to begin a new genus).
The sweet and the fizz. Mr L and Mr E. Not just different, but differently different. 
Not sweet and not-sweet, nor even sweet and sour.
Not fizz and not-fizz, not even fizz and flat.

Negative differences means everything is treated as all of a kind.
Not one of a kind, but part of a broader kind.
Kind of like this, or that.
The animal kingdom. This group. That category. This scale. That spectrum.
And now listening to another of my favourite songs and video clips - Animal Collective’s My Girls.

And what of acts of kindness?

It is to treat each other as one of a kind.
Everyone a guest, as the Buddhists might say.
The joy of meeting someone else's needs before you own simply for the sake of the relationship, as you facebooked, as Gary Chapman said.
For the sake of our duality, one one-of-a-kind in a dance with another one-of-a-kind, we defer one needs for theirs.

Which is to acknowledge that the other has needs, and these will be one-of-a-kind, unique.
It's kindness when I'm giving something that gives me the space to be strangely strange.
It's kindness which I give and share this space and energy to others.

Friendship is one the side of kindness, of positive difference.
Amore, Amateur, A mate.
Friends give this space.
I remember that Keith Johnstone said something about who we can't get away from status relationships, but that friends are those that let each other play status games with each other all the time, over and under, this and that.

Friendship is a gift. Friendship is giftship.
Gifting is the economy of positive difference.
There is no comparison and thus no commensuration.
No trade, no rightful exchange weighed and tested.
Giving, Reciprocally.
The status games of friendship,
are the giving and receiving of the friendship economy.

To be kind, we need to embrace the one-of-a-kindness in each of us.